The King and the Angel
by Christina777
Summary: What is the difference between what Matt wants and what he needs? Mello/Matt & Near/Matt
1. Leaving

Hello, this is my first fan-fiction. You should give feedback or else I may lose the desire to continue it. So if you like it, give feedback. (ok?)

I updated a little after re-reading it. I'll update more if I get any reviews.

It is rated for Yaoi themes (I don't think I have courage for any lemons) and some language. (How can you have a story like this without swearing?)

Very basic summary: Romance triangle between Matt, Mello, and Near. Corny I know- but it's fan fiction. Isn't that what it is suppose to be? Fluffy-Angst stuff, I'll try to add some action- but chances are it will be quite lame. I do have a twist at the end that I'm quite happy with.

And do I really need to do a disclaimer?

---------------

_"...There..." _I breathed as I hit the enter key.

I always speak to myself when I am in an empty room, especially when I am hacking. I guess it makes my head a little less chaotic. I'm third in a school of geniuses; it tends to cause one to think too much. It causes other malfunctions too. Like the inability to like the one you love or love the one who loves you.

An hour ago they (Mello and Near) were called into Roger's Office, no reasons specified. For once Mello hadn't been causing any chaos, and, of course, Near never made any trouble. Or at least, he never broke any of Wammy's rules.

Mello isn't speaking to me, and Near would tell me I wasn't qualified to know. My hand taps impatiently, waiting for my program to slip past the security. I am quite familiar with Wammy's security, even though they upgrade it every time I break into it. I suppose they think they are challenging me. They know us too well here. I wouldn't bother, most of the time, if it weren't for the challenge. People think I mindlessly play the same game over and over again, but I'm not one of those gamers. Actually, each time I get a game- I only play the original once (if that). Why replay when you get it perfectly the first time? I'm always re-programming the games, making it near impossible to beat. It makes it more interesting that way.

I re-adjusted the goggles on my head. _"I don't have the patience to wait until after their little meeting, anyways. I'd much rather see it with my own eyes."_ The thought vaguely reminded me of an odd story about grapes. Too bad it wasn't video games. I probably would have paid attention to the story if it was about a game.

The loading bar on the screen was quickly replaced by streaming videos from all the security cameras in Wammy's. No additional hacking required my program just mimicked my actions from last time. _"They never upgraded the security." _Odd, almost like they wanted me to break through.

All the videos slipped instantly into the task bar with a single function- except one room. In the center of the room was a large table, surrounded by too many books. The door on the side swung open. The camera was placed perfectly, it had been re-adjusted. It wasn't aimed to catch the sneaky, but perfectly placed so I could see Mello and Near. Wammy was probably behind it. He enjoyed being cruel.

_"Good, I didn't miss anything"_ If the security had been higher I would have missed the very beginning.

Roger barely had crawled into the room. He looked broken, like someone had pulled the rug out from underneath him and left him there bruised and alone. Hunched over, his eyes didn't focus on anything. He seemed a decade older than he had been earlier this week. When he finally spoke it barely came out as a whisper.

On his way to his desk he walked around a human, perhaps a creature. His hair was pure white- and his clothes were of the highest quality. The perfect clothes didn't look high quality, however. They were too big, too wrinkled, and too white. He was pure white. Like an angel. He never did anything wrong. He was never bad. He was perfect. I hated him for it sometimes. Only Near could hold the all three titles of angel, creature, and human. He hunched hiding his size, his brilliance, and his strength. He was 13, but you wouldn't even guess he was that old until you looked into his eyes. Then you'd have trouble guess his age as anything less than 30.

A blond, a striking blond stood like a king in front of the desk. Probably the smallest one three- but his stature made him appear larger than all. He is the only person I know who can pull off black leotards and a black t-shirt and look superior to those in suits and ties. It hurt to look at him. Mello is just Mello. I don't have titles for him. Even King is wrong- except that I knocked him off his thrown.

"What was that Roger?!" Mello cried disbelieving, like this information was the last straw. No, straw is too insignificant. More like someone took a bulldozer to an already crumbling statue. "Say it again!"

"L is dead." His voice was firmer this time.

Mello started to break "Dead?! How? You're saying he was killed by Kira? Is that it?"

He was holding back tears. He was the only one of the students to have ever met L. I don't know what happened, but it made Mello strive to impress L. It sometimes made him go against his very nature. He didn't imitate like Near did.

"Most likely" Roger stated, trying not to provoke the crumbling statue.

"He was going to sentence Kira to death and he was killed in the process." He clutched Roger, like as if to shake a different truth out of him. "Is that what you're saying?!"

I had never seen Mello act so stupid. He had the answer right in front of him but he still couldn't come to the conclusion. His eyes glance at the camera.

_"He knows I'm watching."_

Roger grasps for breath "Mello..."

Near dumps his puzzle. The sound breaks Mello's trance, and he releases Roger.

"If you can't win the game..." Near taunts "If you can't solve the puzzle..." In the moment I hate Near "You're just another loser." Why did Near have to rub it in? Does he not realize I'm watching? Does he not realize he's won?

He did win, and he broke Mello. He broke everything about Mello. Well, almost. There is one thing Near hadn't won at.

"So between Near and I, who did L pick?"

I silently pray, _"Please, let it be Mello, please. He needs this."_

"Since he was killed by Kira..."

I threw my keyboard across the room_. "DAMN IT!"_ Ah, Stupid. No!

"…he couldn't choose. Mello, Near, how about it? Working together?" Stupid Roger. Stupid, stupid Roger.

Success makes Near stupid. He was never competitive- but when he wins he acts like he cannot loose. I suppose that is what happens when you never have to try. I'm convinced that is the only reason he dared speak so. "Yes, that sounds agreeable."

Mello sat there flinching. I feel so responsible. Even though, this time, it isn't my fault. His eyes look like the whole world turned against him, my optimist, looking like he has given up on the world. Perhaps it is my fault. And he isn't "my" optimist.

_"One"_ I breathe in, _"Two, Three"_ Mello must have been listening on some level- because he calmed down. He became the King he always is.

"That's impossible, Roger. You know I don't get along with Near." ...anymore

"You're always singling me out." He says it to the camera, to me. Not to Roger. "Always..."

After a moment he starts talking to Roger again, instead of me. "It's alright Roger. The one who will succeed L is Near. He's different than I am, he can think logically, like he's solving a puzzle. I'm leaving, from this institution as well."

_"Mello!"_ Roger and I cry out at identical times. I didn't want Mello to leave. I wanted him to stay around to forgive me.

"I'm almost fifteen years old. I'm going to live my life the way I want to."

----

He walked up to the men's dormitories, grabs his things and scribbles two notes: one to me, and one to "that twit" Near.

----

Near stayed in the office, long after Mello and Roger left. Eventually he tilted his head at the camera, "Please, forgive me. It was for the best you know."

Damn perfect Near. Even at his worst his is still perfect. A perfectly horrid angel. "_Yes, I forgive you. I'll always forgive you."_

As if he could hear me he got up and went to find me.


	2. Journals

Ch. 2 Review! Or else I won't update. So there! (Immaturity high enough for you?)

It is rated for Yaoi themes (I don't think I have courage for any lemons) and some language. (How can you have a story like this without swearing?)

Very basic summary: Romance triangle between Matt, Mello, and Near. Corny I know- but it's fan fiction. Isn't that what it is suppose to be? Fluffy-Angst stuff, I'll try to add some action- but chances are it will be quite lame. I do have a twist at the end that I'm quite happy with. Some of the days are off- I didn't feel like being accurate with ages and such, so they are close-ish. In fact, I might be right just on accident. Also, it is a LONG chapter. An easy read though.

And do I really need to do a disclaimer?

---------------

I debated on sneaking back to my room or staying where I was. I watched Near and Mello on the security cameras. Mello laid both of the notes on top of my desk. I could sneak back and read it, but I stayed. I had to watch him leave. Would he really leave?

Near walked the long way up to the attic. He stopped by the storage room and carried out a large cardboard box. (Why? What is in there?) I suppose the attic was the obvious place to find me. Wammy's house was big enough, but the attic had the perfect lighting, and easier access to the security system. The dust was horrible for my computers- but no one bothered me here.

Near apparently forgot that. He knew I shouldn't be alone. I had a tendency to be self-destructive. If I was left to myself, I'd hide up here until they had to stick me with an IV to keep me from dying of starvation.

Near, my comforter is always thinking about me first. Everyone thinks he has poor social skills when they first see him. (Or in Roger's case, he still thinks it) He's a thirteen year old boy playing obsessively with toys, hunched over like a monkey- who wouldn't?

"Why waste your energy on someone who isn't worth it?" He asked when he walked in, as if reading my mind. I looked at him walking in, and missed Mello walk out the door. I wish I would had been recording. Of course, he's already said good-bye to me. He wouldn't have looked at the camera. But if he did, I missed it.

Around me he chose to straighten up to his full height. He was taller than me, although you'd never guess due to his typical posture. He stretched out his hand, "Come here for a moment." I took his hand, and he led me to the window ledge. I sat with my back to his chest. The bright afternoon sun warmed us. The sun was too cheery for such a day. It kept me from breaking down.

"You really are an angel? Aren't you?" I whispered twirling his hair between my fingers. He once told me he picked up the habit because it made him feel closer to me. He was here, and I needed him.

"Matt, you have no idea." He breathed a heavy sigh, tightening his hold around me.

"What was the box you left outside the door?"

"I was almost hoping you wouldn't have noticed. Good thing you did or I'd never have the courage to give it to you." I stood up to go get the box. It was filled with my old journals.

Roger required that we write in them. Something about discovering who we are. Mello always refused to write in the journals, I suppose he doesn't have to worry about them anymore.

Near picked out the very first, the first journal I ever filled. "I only wrote events of the day they already knew about, but you always wrote so intensively." He handed it to me.

"Have you read them?" I turned my head up at Near. Of course he didn't, but I'm not sure I'd mind if he did. It wasn't that he

"No, but read them aloud if you wish. I disabled the security walking in, so no one will eavesdrop." He clutched me a little tighter. He knew exactly what was in these journals. They were all about him, Mello, me, us. I don't think he really wanted to hear, but he wanted to be with me.

"Why?"

"I'm a masochist." He used this term to shrug off the pain it would cause him. He would gain no pleasure from this event. "Also, you need to remember the things you wrote here. You think you've made your choice already, but the real choice is whether to follow him or not." He stared out the window, as if expecting it to suddenly drop from high noon to twilight.

I opened the first page…

----

"_Day 3162 of my life…_

_Today is my first day at Wammy's. Roger took me in out of the rain and cold that we had been traveling in to get to the orphanage. I can't believe I'm going to be stuck living here for the next 3408 days. That is over 50 journals! (They make you write every day!)_

_He sat me in this big room. It was the first time I saw so many people who thought like I did. The first time I saw anyone like that who was my age. Everyone there had been though as much pain as me, knew as much, and thought as deeply. This was the type of place they thought I was suited for. Everyone here is completely crazy; I hope I don't go crazy too. This one kid keeps re-doing the same puzzle over and over. Another beat up some kid over a chocolate bar. _

_I wonder if I'll survive,_

_-Matt, previously known as Mail "_

_---_

"_Day 3165 of my life…_

_Classes here are fascinating. Nothing like the public schools they tortured me with before. In English we are reading War and Peace. In Math we are studying Calculus. And history is amazing. It is the most unbiased course of history possible. _

_My roommate, Mello turns out not to be so crazy. Well, he is- but he is cool-crazy. I've started to tease him and call him Yang, because he always hangs out with Yin, that crazy puzzle/toy kid. Yin is always wearing white and never causing problems. Mello is always causing problems and I swear he wears the same black leotards every day. They are total opposites, and yet they are best friends. (note to self: Find out Yin's real name.)_

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 3192 of my life…_

_I didn't realize it, but I find myself ranking third at Wammy's. People usually say that if I started so high so early, I'll be number one. I don't think so. I'm up against Mello (second) and Near (first). They haven't been here too much longer than me. Mello works so hard to stay on top, and Near is so creepily smart._

_We have become best friends. (Odd isn't it? Me, between Mello and Near?) I suppose it is no coincidence that the three smartest students here ended up being friends. I think they're the only people here who would get me._

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 3285 of my life…_

_Happy Birthday to me! I'm nine years old. _

_For my birthday I was given a family. Mello and Near are my family, they are everything to me. I love them. (but not in a gay way) Also, I got a game for my computer. I'm quite good at them; I'm beginning to discover. Mello even joked that video games to me are like chocolate to him. I go crazy without them._

_Class is going well. Today Mello set off a stink bomb in the Chemistry lab. He managed to get away without being caught. It was fantastic. Even Near laughed (He is such a conformist I figured he would never approve of any rule breaking. Perhaps he is spending too much time with us.)_

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 3286 of my life…_

_Mello got caught. He blames me and says I shouldn't write that kind of stuff in my journal. So for now on I'll just use sudo names for everyone. (SUDO, I learned that in Linux I can use this to act as something else, usually an administrator. Administrator=Absolute power.) I wonder if that is the real reason everyone here uses aliases. They're afraid Roger will catch them and so they hide their true name. (ha ha, joke- Get it?)_

_So Yin says it is true, we are corrupting him. He's even learned to cheat. (Not that he needs to cheat) _

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 4015 of my life…_

_It is my eleventh birthday. I looked back over my first birthday here at Wammy's. Could you believe I was so naive? I suppose we all are. _

_Mello asked me if I liked girls. Truth is, I haven't hung out with anyone besides him and Near for years. I suppose I'm slightly anti-social. But I love those retards. (Since it is tradition, I'm going to throw in the "But not in a gay way"… ha ha, Stupid nine year old Matt… perhaps a Seinfeld joke? Naw, I'll spare you, Roger) Mello seemed disappointed by reaction. I wonder if he had a girl he wanted to set me up with? _

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 4092 of my life…_

_I think Mello is Gay. I saw him looking at Near with such an odd face today. I know Near is gay. For a 10 year old he is pretty self-aware. I wouldn't think those kind of hormones would be kicking in at his age. They would make an odd couple. I'd have to bring back the nicknames Yin and Yang. I wonder if I should play match-maker. No, that would be just too weird_

_-Matt"_

_---_

"_Day 4100 of my life…_

_Today, Mello beat up someone. Normally this wouldn't be note-worthy, but it was who he beat up. This one boy had tried to 'persuade' me to do his homework for me. I had always known Mello to be slightly violent, but today was almost terrifying. The kid had barely laid a hand on me (of course, being the wuss that I am, I was already screaming.), when Mello grabbed him and flung him against the wall. Mello is grounded from chocolate for a month._

_Of course, Near and I predicted this the moment Mello grabbed the kid. So while he was fighting Near and I ran off to the store to get him a supply of chocolate. I used all my money so I could buy as much as I could. (Luckily Roger doesn't check the journals quite as regularly anymore. He only asks us to turn them in at the end up every trimester. I suppose they aren't as interesting as they were before I really got settled). I think that between Near and I we got a full month. With how Mello goes through it, I never know._

_When I got back Mello looked like he was going to give me the same treatment he gave the kid. He started shouting about 'where the hell were you' and 'you scared the shit out of me Matt'. Luckily a shield of chocolate deflected any Mello attacks. However, It didn't work as well when Near tried it. Mello punched Near. It was the first time I saw him injure Near. He had sent me to the hospital several times. I had a tendency to steal his chocolate. But, he always stayed until I was better, and he always go me a new game to apologize. I don't understand what Near did that made Mello so mad. He only got him chocolate._

_-Matt"_

Near stopped me. "Matt, it is getting late. You have read over 900 journal entries. It is getting dark. Besides, I don't think I can take any more tonight." He hugged me tightly and then motioned for me to get up.

"You don't have to listen, Near. I don't need to read out loud" I stood up and stretched a little.

He paused and looked at me. "Yes I have to, you need to. Also, I need to explain that day."

"What?" I smiled. I had figured this out a long time ago. "Did you happen to tell Mello before this fight that you loved me? Then I suppose he said he liked me and to back off?"

"No." That caught me off guard. I thought I had it figured out. "Mello came to me and he said he knew my feelings for you. He said he loved you, that you'd be his in the end. He also said he wasn't going to let it come between his and my friendship. He knew it would hurt you to choose between him and me. Also, he would miss my friendship. I suppose he changed his mind after the fight. I think he thought I was trying to steal you. I was. I figured it I could win you first, you'd be mine forever."

"Oh…" I looked at the ground. I had absolutely no reply. Near didn't really expect a reply. He took my hand and led me back to my room.

It was past lights out, so we were careful sneaking back. Once we got back to I flipped on the light, walking in reminded me of the note.

"Not tonight, finish reading the journals first," Near grabbing the notes before I could reach them.

"Why?"

"Today has been a confusing day, hasn't it?" He was avoiding my question. "Come, go to sleep. I'll stay with you tonight." Near pulled the heavy quilt I always slept with and crawled in after me. I hugged him around his waist, laid my head on the crook of his shoulder.

"Good night, my love."

He never even attempted to kiss me goodnight. That's Near, always thinking of me.

----

What did you think? I think in the next chapter I'll explain with more flashbacks and fewer Journals. I think it will get too private for something Matt knows Roger will read. Besides, Now I have Near filling Matt in. It will make for interesting dialog.


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